April 15, 2008

Parenting Interrupted

Two reasons why the talk at church today was interesting. First, the speaker was a visitor from the stake on assignment with the high counselor. She is in the Stake Relief Society presidency, I believe. Brilliant! I wish I had thought of having the stake women's auxiliaries speak on high counsel Sunday.

Second, she made an insightful point on parenting and mothering in particular. Her question was "What is interrupting what?" Meaning, are your children interrupting your housework? hobbies? work? Or is housework, hobbies, and schoolwork interrupting parenting your children? What are you really supposed to "do" in any given day?

I've been pondering this question a lot lately as I try to come to terms yet again with my role as a stay at home mom. I'm not always incredibly fond of or good at the job, and fantasize about my life after small children now and then.

I come back to two things. First, the desire to keep my children safe. For a pretty laid back mom, I'm incredibly overprotective and controlling of who has contact with my children. If anyone is going to yell and hit my kids, it's going to be me!!

Second, though it's been said to me many times, it's finally hitting home. This time when my children are small is almost over. If we are unable to have anymore children, I have just a year or so until G is in preschool. M's already gone for most of the day. I resented when people said how quickly those years flew. But now I say it to anyone who will listen. They fly. They're gone.

And so that and a few other things keeps me at home with the kiddies. And you know what? I don't resent them. I like them a lot. And I'm excited about what they are becoming. So for now, I do kids. I brush hair, practice reading, practice Hiragana, play ABC games, put puzzles together, play Easter hunt, make play dough, watch endless cartoons in Japanese and English, dance the chocho dance, and give endless hugs and kisses and band-aids. There's also discipline, manners, conflict resolution, time management, courtesy, music appreciation, and responsibility I teach on the side. It's good work, but vacation time is limited.

I wrote this in February, but finally finished it today.


  1. hi,

    thats a good post on parenting!!!!!!!

  2. One of the hardest things about having Monet was that I couldn't do any of the things I enjoyed like painting, reading, surfing, running on the beach, playing my guitar, going to open mike, traveling...I could go on and on. The first year was really the hardest mostly because I wasn't planning on having her and I was doing it on my own. But now I find myself getting depressed when I can't spend enough time with her just giving her quality time. I don't want to miss a moment of her and I want her to know that she is the most important thing to me, much more important than any of those things I mentioned.

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  4. (oops.. my comment above was deleted
    You're a fun SAHM. The kiddies are lucky to have you. I agree about time flying. If we didn't feel like that we would never want more kids.

    I like the idea of questioning what is interrupting what.I like our set up because when I'm home I am doing ENZO and if I can cook or do other things fine but if not I don't stress about it, and then when Chris is with him I do school. It works for us.

    ps: I have 2 friends in my ward who have kids the exact age difference as yours and the last one is 4 years difference and they said it was the best. I know it's not how you planned it but maybe the time in between them will be a good thing.

  5. Glad to her you feel that way. Kids are great. Minami lost one tooth on Saturday and another yesterday--both at my house. I feel so honored to get to participate in their lives.

  6. I think that's just what I needed after my plans of cleaning the house today got totally ruined by the fact that Amaya refused to nap.

  7. I love that post Bekah! It totally hits home to me. I too fantasize about like after little kids. But more and more, I realize that this, today, is what I'll think about day in and day out in the years to come. Thanks for the reminder!

  8. Good one, Bekah. Really good.

  9. Nice, Bekah. Because it's true. I think you're chocho dance will go well with our haka.


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