On being Mormon (or not)

I've been intrigued by my friend's posts on leaving the Mormon church and being told she is "not Mormon".

I try to be a fairly organized gal, and I've always had a hard time picking a label for my friends and family who have left the church. How do I even describe them to others? And why do I have so many?

Sometimes I categorize them as "friends who have left the church." But it's such a mouthful. I've never thought of them as non-Mormon. There is too much Mormon culture that seeps into our everyday selves to be permanently rid of it.

Whatever their beliefs or non-beliefs, I am unable to categorize them out of my sphere. They are my friends and family first.

Here are some labels that I can live with: brother, sister, garden friend, work friend, high school friend, cousin, book group friend, family friend, neighbor, church friend.

And my friend who is coming back to the church after 10 years or so? Well, he has his own category.

Barbie

My 5 year old has a ton of Barbies, hand me downs from J's cousin. In theory, I dislike all that she represents. Her unrealistic proportions, skimpy clothes, and nappy blonde hair. But at our house Miriam's friend Miles plays with them too. Miriam puts them in two little family groups. The daddies and mommies in their finery and the little girl and little boy (mike, j's dad's name) dressed to the nines as well. Yesterday, mommy went to church in her strapless fairy costume. And today they sat in a nice row with all her stuffed animals while they were in school.

I could worry that she'll create a role model figure out of Barbie. But if she keeps her blonde hair, gets my mom's figure, and the height genes hanging around my dad's family, she could very well look like beach barbie.

Meet my Percocet

Jesse has a new ACL and the dr. gave him a whole bunch of painkillers. Unfortunately, he forgot to give me anything. So I'm self medicating with grasshoppers. And the chocolate chip cookies Brooke brought over. And the chocolate rice crispy treats I made on Tuesday. And the chocolate joe-joes on top of the fridge. And the triple chocolate klondike bars I got today.

But Brooke did my dishes today while I read the New Yorker. And Peter did the dishes yesterday while I just sat. And Lenna brought me dinner on Thursday. And Peter and Christi on Friday. And I ate enough grasshoppers and chocolate chip cookies tonight so I didn't need dinner today. I have great friends.

Migraine

I've suffered from Migraines since I was eleven or so. I remember taking a phone call from a customer on my newspaper route and I was trying to take care of their complaint and not vomit. It was years before I could properly manage them, and even now, they can catch me off guard.

Yesterday was one of those days. The pounding pressure in the back of my brain, glaring sunlight, then nausea, cold sweats, sensitivity to all smells, and then, almost passing out at the snack shop. We just happened to be at the San Diego zoo yesterday, so the smells of urine, feces, public toilets, flowers in bloom, popcorn, and the flamingos who stink on any other day, were overwhelming yesterday.

I drank a 32 oz cup of coke, and felt much better. My drug of choice is Dr. Pepper, but any caffeinated beverage will do. After driving home, I dropped sleeping Gwyneth in bed, and put myself in bed with the covers over my head. Darkness, familiar smells, quiet.

Blissful

Yesterday we went out. On a date. Really. I know, even I could hardly believe it. We were going to go to the library and look at movies without kids running circles in the lobby. (they really do this. They're fine in the kids' area, but go berserk in the lobby.) Anyway, they closed early.
So what to do in CDM? We finally checked out Bliss Linens where two of Jesse's cousins work.
Quin (female) is a salesperson and Steven is a decorator. We've never been in because we've always had the kids. The main buyer/decorator travels to Europe and sends crates of goodies home. Anyway, this picture is a room he put together. The main designer picks the linens, and then he accessorizes. I have such a talented family. Did I mention that everything costs an arm and a leg? It's fun to look, though.

What the H E double hockey pucks!!

Jesse and Miriam were rough housing last night. Then for no reason, Jesse threw a pillow at Miriam. "What the hell?" She yelled at him.

J told me what happened later that night and we laughed so hard. I'd just like to say that this one is definitely Jesse's doing. I never say that. I'm more the one word expletive kind of gal. And I tend to say it under my breath if the kids are around.

Summer plans

This is my brother in law Adam's phot of Waimea. He is super cool and has taken all the good pictures of us. Jesse is so proud of him, he has shown EVERYONE Adam's book North Shore.

We're spending the summer in Hawaii while Jesse teaches at BYUH. I'm going to jump off Waimea rock this year. I don't think I've done it since before I had Miriam, but I remember it being quite a rush. I'm also going to check out the blue room with Jesse, a secret cave off the point, and kayak around the bay. Hopefully, J's knee will be good enough for us to go on some of our favorite hikes.

Spring is here

In orange county, at least. My car smells like poo, which is good and bad. It means I bought steer manure to begin prepping the soil. But it also means that it's still in my car on a warm spring day. I'm waiting for my backup so I can haul it to the garden. While getting the poo, I picked up some lovely flowers and planted them around my patio. Miriam designed and planted one of the pots.

I also picked up some alyssum so I can do some stealth gardening tomorrow am. Alyssum is very hardy and bunnies detest it. It also spreads quite a bit. These wonderful attributes make it ideal for stealth landscaping. I'm very excited because it feels so illicit.

I planted a window box with mesclun mix and it has started to sprout. There is so much hope and anticipation in gardening. It feeds my creative spirit. I'm looking forward to planting an herb garden for my mother in law this summer.

Knee Surgery

My love, whose love is surfing, skateboarding, hiking, snowboarding and me, is getting a new acl next week. It's a ligament in his knee that busted in January when he landed a jump wrong. It should be good as new in nine months. The same length of time it takes to incubate a baby it takes to make a new acl. I'd take a baby over a knee any day.

As a joke, I renamed our bank account knee surgery. I should've named it plane tickets, because that's what I spent it on.

I've been starting a photo essay of my kids' bedhead. Gwyn, my 2 year old, has the most amazing hair in the morning. It really doesn't matter if it's been washed the night before or not.

When I was a kid, my bedhead was pretty bad, but what made it worse was that I got myself ready for school since my mom had early classes. Also, my mom had the fabulous idea of home perming my hair so it would be easier to manage. hm.

My kids occasionally get out of the house without their hair brushed. Like when Miriam wore a hooded shirt, and revealed her bedhead in the middle of the grocery store. I probably shouldn't care what other people think, but we look white trashy enough. Luckily for us Target has a spray on detangler that's just a dollar.

Much More

My mom loves the musical "The Fantasticks" and she dragged me to a production when I was in high school. I LOVED IT! I listened to the cast tape over and over. My favorite song is "Much More" where the girl sings of all she dreams of doing. She doesn't want to fall in love and get married, settle down with kids and keep house. She wants much more. And who wouldn't.

So, I keep house myself now and sometimes I still wish for much more. And sometimes I think I have so much there's no room for more.